The Opposite of Identity Theft

I've just spent almost an hour writing a letter, making copies, making a trip to the post office, etc. for a creditor who INSISTS on getting my name wrong in its records. I have called to no avail. I was assured my name was corrected, but I'm still getting a tidal wave of paperwork in the wrong name. Now the creditor wants me to initiate automatic deductions from my bank account. How, pray tell, can I do that when my bank account is in my actual name, and the creditor's records -- and the form it wants me to use -- is in the fantasy name???? (The name is not actually a fantasy, but a despised maiden name that I have not used for over 36 years and only give to people when I must provide my maiden name. It has many bad associations for me, which makes this process not only irritating and time-wasting, but really, really upsetting.)

This is the opposite of identity theft; I'm having an identity foisted on me that I don't want.

Now I know at least in a small way how those people must feel who are prematurely declared dead by Social Security, etc. and whose cries of but I'm still alive! are ignored.

Well, Now I'm Kinda Sorry the Golden Globes Got Cancelled

...since my just-about-favoritest show, Mad Men, and the maddest man of all, Jon Hamm, won their awards.

(And yes, despite my lingering absence, I'm still around. Whatever that means.)