Here's Maggie:
And me at about 10:
(There's another reason, too: she's not ugly.)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
One of the Many Reasons I Hate to See the "Ugly" Comments Thrown at Maggie Gyllenhaal
Because she's the one famous person ever whom I think I resemble. I won't post a current photo of me, but I will post a childhood photo.
Here's Maggie:
And me at about 10:
(There's another reason, too: she's not ugly.)
Here's Maggie:
And me at about 10:
(There's another reason, too: she's not ugly.)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
There's a Word for That
And it's mondegreen.
When we hear Jimi Hendrix sing, "'scuse me while I kiss this guy," or John Fogarty croon, "there's a bathroom on the right," we're creating a mondegreen: "a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung."
Mondegreen made MW's new words for 2008, and to celebrate, it's collecting mondegreens through July 25, after which time it will publish the best of them.
The only one that occurs to me offhand is the one that puzzled me for years (until the internet cleared it up), part of the lyrics to Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded by the Light" as performed by Manfred Mann's Earth Band, which sounded to me like "wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night."
The real lyrics, apparently, are "cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night."
I'm not sure that I'm any less puzzled by the real lyrics.
What's your mondegreen?
When we hear Jimi Hendrix sing, "'scuse me while I kiss this guy," or John Fogarty croon, "there's a bathroom on the right," we're creating a mondegreen: "a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung."
Mondegreen was first coined by author Sylvia Wright in 1954 in Atlantic magazine, when she confessed to a childhood misinterpretation of the Scottish ballad 'The Bonny Earl of Moray.' When she first heard the lyric "they had slain the Earl of Moray and had laid him on the green," she felt terribly sorry for the "poor Lady Mondegreen."
Mondegreen made MW's new words for 2008, and to celebrate, it's collecting mondegreens through July 25, after which time it will publish the best of them.
The only one that occurs to me offhand is the one that puzzled me for years (until the internet cleared it up), part of the lyrics to Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded by the Light" as performed by Manfred Mann's Earth Band, which sounded to me like "wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night."
The real lyrics, apparently, are "cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night."
I'm not sure that I'm any less puzzled by the real lyrics.
What's your mondegreen?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Girl of My Dreams
After more than a decade and a half, it has finally happened: I've found the girl of my dreams.
That is, Tall Son has finally brought home the woman I've been waiting for him to bring home.
She's phenomenal. I liked her instantly. I mean, instantly.
Her kids are phenomenal, especially her clever, smart, articulate 11-year-old son.
But every silver lining apparently must have a dark cloud wrapped around it: in this case, an ex-husband who makes the husband in Sleeping With the Enemy look somewhat normal.
But she has a restraining order (for what that's worth), he lives in another state, and there is past evidence that he's actually a coward when any third parties are around.
My mood: worried, but hopeful.
That is, Tall Son has finally brought home the woman I've been waiting for him to bring home.
She's phenomenal. I liked her instantly. I mean, instantly.
Her kids are phenomenal, especially her clever, smart, articulate 11-year-old son.
But every silver lining apparently must have a dark cloud wrapped around it: in this case, an ex-husband who makes the husband in Sleeping With the Enemy look somewhat normal.
But she has a restraining order (for what that's worth), he lives in another state, and there is past evidence that he's actually a coward when any third parties are around.
My mood: worried, but hopeful.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Just Like Crack
...looking stuff up in the public records.
In comments just below, I discussed how Tall Son and I were checking out local criminal records last night.
Then, because one of my neighbors told me yesterday that he was probably going to sell, I decided to look at his property records.
Which led me to looking at the records of all my neighbors on this 7-house cul-de-sac. Upon reflection, I don't think anything I learned surprised me.
You know about me and Neighbor Guy. On the corner next to Neighbor Guy, the couple, who have been there since 1997, have only their original mortgage and a second, signed the same day, to the county, for $5000 with 0% interest. Must have been one of those incentive programs we hear about now and again.
On the other corner, Lawnmower Man and his wife have refinanced several times, but always modest amounts. I think they did it the first time to finance their addition, but after that, it's always been for about $50,000. I think they've just been shopping interest rates. Who knows?
Then, oh dear, the neighbor who says he'd like to move. He and his wife also have refinanced a number of times, each time pulling out more equity so that their most recent mortgage is nearly $120,000. In this modest neighborhood and knowing the condition of their house, I suspect that's over its value. And I suspect they used a subprime lender.
Next to them are the people directly across from me, and their story is also quite similar. They've only been with us for five years and have refi'd three times. Again, I suspect that if they're not over value, they're kissing it with that last mortgage. This time I'm almost certain their loan is subprime: it's with Countrywide.
Finally, my neighbors to the left quietly paid off their only mortgage two years ago, right on time at 30 years old. And that's it for them.
***************
While I was busy on the court records, I found a link to the property appraiser's office. Like the court's, the appraiser's website is far more fun and useful than it used to be. I can literally check out the whole neighborhood by clicking on each lot on a plat map. The map is color-coded: if the house sold in 08, 07, or 06, the lot has a corresponding color. If the last sale was older, it's white. Very few houses have turned over in my neighborhood in the past three years. I suspect that's because the neighborhood is modest, but also reasonably well-kept. In the old market, who could afford to move out? And what would have been the incentive?
****************
In the last election cycle, "we" the voters approved a real-estate tax "relief" measure. The good news is that according to the appraiser's office, my taxable value is now only $34,000.00. Except, because the county is having desperate trouble making ends meet, that's really also the bad news. But what do I know? I'm a tax-and-spend liberal.
In comments just below, I discussed how Tall Son and I were checking out local criminal records last night.
Then, because one of my neighbors told me yesterday that he was probably going to sell, I decided to look at his property records.
Which led me to looking at the records of all my neighbors on this 7-house cul-de-sac. Upon reflection, I don't think anything I learned surprised me.
You know about me and Neighbor Guy. On the corner next to Neighbor Guy, the couple, who have been there since 1997, have only their original mortgage and a second, signed the same day, to the county, for $5000 with 0% interest. Must have been one of those incentive programs we hear about now and again.
On the other corner, Lawnmower Man and his wife have refinanced several times, but always modest amounts. I think they did it the first time to finance their addition, but after that, it's always been for about $50,000. I think they've just been shopping interest rates. Who knows?
Then, oh dear, the neighbor who says he'd like to move. He and his wife also have refinanced a number of times, each time pulling out more equity so that their most recent mortgage is nearly $120,000. In this modest neighborhood and knowing the condition of their house, I suspect that's over its value. And I suspect they used a subprime lender.
Next to them are the people directly across from me, and their story is also quite similar. They've only been with us for five years and have refi'd three times. Again, I suspect that if they're not over value, they're kissing it with that last mortgage. This time I'm almost certain their loan is subprime: it's with Countrywide.
Finally, my neighbors to the left quietly paid off their only mortgage two years ago, right on time at 30 years old. And that's it for them.
***************
While I was busy on the court records, I found a link to the property appraiser's office. Like the court's, the appraiser's website is far more fun and useful than it used to be. I can literally check out the whole neighborhood by clicking on each lot on a plat map. The map is color-coded: if the house sold in 08, 07, or 06, the lot has a corresponding color. If the last sale was older, it's white. Very few houses have turned over in my neighborhood in the past three years. I suspect that's because the neighborhood is modest, but also reasonably well-kept. In the old market, who could afford to move out? And what would have been the incentive?
****************
In the last election cycle, "we" the voters approved a real-estate tax "relief" measure. The good news is that according to the appraiser's office, my taxable value is now only $34,000.00. Except, because the county is having desperate trouble making ends meet, that's really also the bad news. But what do I know? I'm a tax-and-spend liberal.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Fun With the Public Records (Shame on Me!)
So that I could prepare the satisfaction of mortgage for Mrs. P's signature (I used to be a real estate secretary, so this is something I can do with confidence), I puttered around on the Clerk of the Court's site, looking at all of my real estate docs, making sure I had all the right numbers and dates, as well as looking to be sure all the other, old stuff has been satisfactorily recorded.
I was about to log out when I got curious about my ex. The kids have told me that he and his wife own several rental properties, in addition to their half-mil* (value before the bust, anyway) personal residence. A search says this is true, but only two additional properties, and no foreclosures, despite the fact that both of them make their living by selling real estate. Good on them.
Then I looked up Neighbor Guy and his wife. It's always been clear that they're on firmer footing than most of the rest of us. Check this out: back in '84 when they bought their house, they only mortgaged $4000.00, and they paid that off 19 years ago. Apparently they were able to cover the rest in cash. Now remember that I only paid $29,200 for mine; theirs probably was a bit more. And it's very possible that they'd owned and sold another home before they bought this one. Still.
At that, I decided I knew quite enough about the people around me for one day. Maybe more snooping in what is, after all, public records another day.
*Jealous? No. Grateful I don't have to make the payments.
I was about to log out when I got curious about my ex. The kids have told me that he and his wife own several rental properties, in addition to their half-mil* (value before the bust, anyway) personal residence. A search says this is true, but only two additional properties, and no foreclosures, despite the fact that both of them make their living by selling real estate. Good on them.
Then I looked up Neighbor Guy and his wife. It's always been clear that they're on firmer footing than most of the rest of us. Check this out: back in '84 when they bought their house, they only mortgaged $4000.00, and they paid that off 19 years ago. Apparently they were able to cover the rest in cash. Now remember that I only paid $29,200 for mine; theirs probably was a bit more. And it's very possible that they'd owned and sold another home before they bought this one. Still.
At that, I decided I knew quite enough about the people around me for one day. Maybe more snooping in what is, after all, public records another day.
*Jealous? No. Grateful I don't have to make the payments.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
And Just Like That, It's Over
When my phone rings at 10:30 pm, I assume it's one of my children, who know about my nightowlish ways.
Instead, it was Mrs. P, the holder of what used to be my second mortgage. A little over two years ago, I paid off the original mortgage, the one my ex and I took out to buy this little house on the peninsula in 1976 for $29,200. Upon satisfaction of that mortgage, Mrs. P became my first mortgage holder.
She was calling because she'd received my July payment, and she was about to deposit it when she decided to consult her amortization schedule.
According to her records, which were compiled by her late husband, a CPA, I owe her a partial payment for July, and then I'm done. She's tearing up the old check, I'm issuing a new one, and after 20 years we're going our separate ways.
(According to my records, payoff should be in September, but who am I to argue with a deceased CPA???)
Although I was having some YouTube trouble on the 4th of July, I figured out today how to sweet-talk the "embed" feature, so let the fireworks begin:
Instead, it was Mrs. P, the holder of what used to be my second mortgage. A little over two years ago, I paid off the original mortgage, the one my ex and I took out to buy this little house on the peninsula in 1976 for $29,200. Upon satisfaction of that mortgage, Mrs. P became my first mortgage holder.
She was calling because she'd received my July payment, and she was about to deposit it when she decided to consult her amortization schedule.
According to her records, which were compiled by her late husband, a CPA, I owe her a partial payment for July, and then I'm done. She's tearing up the old check, I'm issuing a new one, and after 20 years we're going our separate ways.
(According to my records, payoff should be in September, but who am I to argue with a deceased CPA???)
Although I was having some YouTube trouble on the 4th of July, I figured out today how to sweet-talk the "embed" feature, so let the fireworks begin:
Musical Metaphors Two, Or, Blogger Is Being a Pain
In my post below, I asked for more suggestions, but for some reason, comments aren't working, just for this latest post. I got them going by disallowing and then reallowing, but when I surfed out and in again, comments were once again gone. I did a test (now deleted) that allowed comments.
I have no idea what's up and I don't have time for this.
Consider this to be the comments section for the post below. I really do want some suggestions!!!!
I have no idea what's up and I don't have time for this.
Consider this to be the comments section for the post below. I really do want some suggestions!!!!
Musical Metaphors
Because some plans changed along the way, when it was time to come home from vacation, my daughter couldn't bring me. We decided I would drive her husband's truck home and work out a plan later for returning it. She also supplied me with a dozen CDs to entertain me on the 9-1/2 hour trip.
Yesterday I drove the truck to work to give it a little outing and keep its juices flowing. In the CD player was Simon & Garfunkel's Greatest Hits. The stereo system is quite a good one, and while "Bridge over Troubled Water" was playing, I got goosebumps, and said -- maybe out loud -- that that had to be one of the greatest musical metaphors ever.
"Yeah, that and 'The Long and Winding Road,'" I said, continuing the conversation with myself.
I'm afraid that from there my mind wandered to The Commodores's "Brick House." Oh dear.
Sing it, Lionel.
From there, "Like a Rolling Stone."
All these show my age, for sure. And now I'm stuck. Help! What do the rest of you have?
NOTE: I have no idea why I can't get comments to work for this post, but I can't and I'm done dealing with it. I suspect I might even have a comment on this one because in the "Post Options" section, I'm offered the options or showing or hiding my existing comments. Comments I can't see. I give up. Please comment in the post directly above.
NOTE TWO: Or, you might see comments after all. There one minute, gone the next. Comment wherever Blogger will let you.
Yesterday I drove the truck to work to give it a little outing and keep its juices flowing. In the CD player was Simon & Garfunkel's Greatest Hits. The stereo system is quite a good one, and while "Bridge over Troubled Water" was playing, I got goosebumps, and said -- maybe out loud -- that that had to be one of the greatest musical metaphors ever.
"Yeah, that and 'The Long and Winding Road,'" I said, continuing the conversation with myself.
I'm afraid that from there my mind wandered to The Commodores's "Brick House." Oh dear.
Sing it, Lionel.
From there, "Like a Rolling Stone."
All these show my age, for sure. And now I'm stuck. Help! What do the rest of you have?
NOTE: I have no idea why I can't get comments to work for this post, but I can't and I'm done dealing with it. I suspect I might even have a comment on this one because in the "Post Options" section, I'm offered the options or showing or hiding my existing comments. Comments I can't see. I give up. Please comment in the post directly above.
NOTE TWO: Or, you might see comments after all. There one minute, gone the next. Comment wherever Blogger will let you.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Happy Fourth!
I must be the only soul in Bloggerland who can't easily embed YouTube videos. I can never copy and paste the whole URL and I don't have the patience today to do it in pieces. So although I found a grand fireworks video, never mind.
I've been working today. That might be occasion for me to feel sorry for myself, but not really. Not today. I'm grateful for the opportunity to actually get ahead of my boss on the editing project I'm doing this summer. She has family in town this weekend, so my little fingers are stiff from trying to catch up. I had my fun times last month, and I have no regrets.
But it's time for a food break, and to give the fingers a rest.
Imagine popping sounds, and lights in motion, and oohs and aahhs. Happy Fourth of July!
Please Watch This Show!
Aliens in America. You'll be glad you did.
It's been cancelled, so this isn't a save-this-show effort. But over the past year, I've had three favorite shows: Lost and Mad Men, tied for first place. (Not a competition because they don't run at the same time of year.) Number three (or two, depending on how you count) was Aliens in America. It's like The Wonder Years, Freaks and Geeks, and Arrested Development all rolled into one. It's funny, poignant, smart, sweet, clever, and cancelled.
It's not too late to watch: episodes are still rerunning on the CW on Sundays at 8:30 pm EST, but full episodes are also online here.
I think I got them all recorded and saved to the DVR, awaiting my finding time to rename them and burn them. That's the only thing about all this that makes me happy. The CW can cancel all it likes, but I'll have the 18 little gems of Season Only as long as DVD technology is still playable.
It's been cancelled, so this isn't a save-this-show effort. But over the past year, I've had three favorite shows: Lost and Mad Men, tied for first place. (Not a competition because they don't run at the same time of year.) Number three (or two, depending on how you count) was Aliens in America. It's like The Wonder Years, Freaks and Geeks, and Arrested Development all rolled into one. It's funny, poignant, smart, sweet, clever, and cancelled.
It's not too late to watch: episodes are still rerunning on the CW on Sundays at 8:30 pm EST, but full episodes are also online here.
I think I got them all recorded and saved to the DVR, awaiting my finding time to rename them and burn them. That's the only thing about all this that makes me happy. The CW can cancel all it likes, but I'll have the 18 little gems of Season Only as long as DVD technology is still playable.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Fox News: Fun With Photoshop
Submitted for your review with minimum editorializing because words fail me. Summary is about all I can pull off:
First, New York Times writer Jacques Steinberg writes an article claiming that Fox News' ratings are declining.
Then, Fox responds in a mature manner. See the video at the link.
However, the nyah, nyah tone of the on-air "personalities" is not the point here. The point is that they projected highly photoshopped photos of Steinberg and his editor, to-wit:
Steinberg:
His editor, Steven Reddicliffe:
Remember those fun pictures from childhood, where you look closely to see the differences in the two pictures? Have at it, friends.
Fair and balanced, my foot.
First, New York Times writer Jacques Steinberg writes an article claiming that Fox News' ratings are declining.
Then, Fox responds in a mature manner. See the video at the link.
However, the nyah, nyah tone of the on-air "personalities" is not the point here. The point is that they projected highly photoshopped photos of Steinberg and his editor, to-wit:
Steinberg:
His editor, Steven Reddicliffe:
Remember those fun pictures from childhood, where you look closely to see the differences in the two pictures? Have at it, friends.
Fair and balanced, my foot.
If you can't stand behind our troops, do us all a favor and stand in front of them
While I was on vacation, I met an in-law of one of my many sisters, and very, very early in the conversation, while we were very much strangers, he made reference to "the idiot Bush." As the conversation went on, I told him how amused I was that he got into the politics so easily and vehemently, because where I live, Super Dooper Red State, liberals tend to test the waters very carefully before launching into political invective. (Turns out he was from upstate New York.) For instance, at a party my son threw several years ago (Alanna, you may remember this), someone we didn't know well said something political, but very carefully (no longer remember what), upon which one of us said that it was ok, we were all liberals here. The group laughed, visibly relaxed, and then began chatting in earnest about politics.
Anyway.
Today I was proud to come across, on CNN, a nationwide broadcast of an example of the prevailing mindset of my region. Here's a link to the video: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/07/03/dnt.tshirt.controversy.wjxt
(If it's possible to embed CNN videos, I don't know how.)
In brief for those disinclined to watch the video, an antiwar activist who attended some kind of local veterans event won a gift bag --
and I'll stop here for a moment and point out that if the woman won a gift bag, she obviously came not as rabble-rouser but as supporter. She must have behaved in a friendly way at the meeting or they'd have escorted her out. It is, surprise, surprise, possible to not support the war but support the troops and the veterans. (Some people, however, see it as all about Love Me, Love My Boss's War.) My son is a Marine and not until we invaded Iraq did I ever strongly feel that he and his colleagues were being misused by our government. Anyway, back to our story.
When she opened the gift bag at home, she was horrified to find a t-shirt with a graphic of a sharpshooter on the front and this friendly message on the back: If you can't stand behind our troops, do us all a favor and stand in front of them.
The anti-war grab-bag winner was further horrified to discover that the shirts were donated by the county sheriff (using his own money) and she believed that this sent a message that the sheriff condones violence against anti-war protestors.
You misunderstand, says the sheriff's spokesman (and I am reminded again why I didn't major in communications...), emphasis mine:
The message on the shirts is not neutral. What if, for instance, a sheriff were asked to buy some t-shirts to support a successful after-school teen program, one that is proven to divert teens away from criminal activity, but the shirts contained a message promoting the legalization of marijuana? (Of course, this is not likely, but the point here is cause good, message on shirts more dicey, at least for a law enforcement officer.) Of course he would distance himself, and fast, even if the after-school program was highly effective and award-winning. In other words, there'd never be a moment when a spokesman would have to say that the sheriff bought the shirts, didn't design them, isn't promoting them, etc. The sheriff would be very careful not to be associated with that message in the first place.
People are like that, after all, all about CYA.
It's safe to say that the sheriff is not that naive, probably sees nothing wrong with the message -- after all, the spokesman doesn't appear to have denounced it -- and is probably very proud of disseminating these shirts.
And this is the red world in which I live, one that my New York friend couldn't wrap his mind around.
Anyway.
Today I was proud to come across, on CNN, a nationwide broadcast of an example of the prevailing mindset of my region. Here's a link to the video: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/07/03/dnt.tshirt.controversy.wjxt
(If it's possible to embed CNN videos, I don't know how.)
In brief for those disinclined to watch the video, an antiwar activist who attended some kind of local veterans event won a gift bag --
and I'll stop here for a moment and point out that if the woman won a gift bag, she obviously came not as rabble-rouser but as supporter. She must have behaved in a friendly way at the meeting or they'd have escorted her out. It is, surprise, surprise, possible to not support the war but support the troops and the veterans. (Some people, however, see it as all about Love Me, Love My Boss's War.) My son is a Marine and not until we invaded Iraq did I ever strongly feel that he and his colleagues were being misused by our government. Anyway, back to our story.
When she opened the gift bag at home, she was horrified to find a t-shirt with a graphic of a sharpshooter on the front and this friendly message on the back: If you can't stand behind our troops, do us all a favor and stand in front of them.
The anti-war grab-bag winner was further horrified to discover that the shirts were donated by the county sheriff (using his own money) and she believed that this sent a message that the sheriff condones violence against anti-war protestors.
You misunderstand, says the sheriff's spokesman (and I am reminded again why I didn't major in communications...), emphasis mine:
The sheriff purchased the shirts with his own money to support local vets …In other words, handing the shirts out is not the same as promoting their message, and he takes no responsibility whatsoever for his actions.
It’s simply this: the sheriff bought the shirts, he didn’t design the shirts, he hasn’t done anything to promote the shirts, he just handed a few out after he purchased them to help them raise money to support our local families.
The message on the shirts is not neutral. What if, for instance, a sheriff were asked to buy some t-shirts to support a successful after-school teen program, one that is proven to divert teens away from criminal activity, but the shirts contained a message promoting the legalization of marijuana? (Of course, this is not likely, but the point here is cause good, message on shirts more dicey, at least for a law enforcement officer.) Of course he would distance himself, and fast, even if the after-school program was highly effective and award-winning. In other words, there'd never be a moment when a spokesman would have to say that the sheriff bought the shirts, didn't design them, isn't promoting them, etc. The sheriff would be very careful not to be associated with that message in the first place.
People are like that, after all, all about CYA.
It's safe to say that the sheriff is not that naive, probably sees nothing wrong with the message -- after all, the spokesman doesn't appear to have denounced it -- and is probably very proud of disseminating these shirts.
And this is the red world in which I live, one that my New York friend couldn't wrap his mind around.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Arresting News!
Jeffrey Tambor, a/k/a George Bluth, Sr. and Oscar Bluth, has announced that Arrested Development the movie is on.
I was skeptical -- Tambor would hardly be the official mouthpiece -- so I went to IMDB.com, where I found a fleshed-out page for the film, including an "announced" status, although it's not clear what all that's based on.
I'm sure this is especially good news for Ron Howard, who served as the show's narrator and who could surely use the work.
We can hope, anyway.
In other happy viewing news, I look for Mad Men season 1 in the mail this week.
I was skeptical -- Tambor would hardly be the official mouthpiece -- so I went to IMDB.com, where I found a fleshed-out page for the film, including an "announced" status, although it's not clear what all that's based on.
I'm sure this is especially good news for Ron Howard, who served as the show's narrator and who could surely use the work.
We can hope, anyway.
In other happy viewing news, I look for Mad Men season 1 in the mail this week.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Back from Vacation
And of course, I'm now sick. Just the garden-variety body aches, sore throat, cough, etc. Not the more unpleasant symptoms that sometimes accompany minor illnesses.
Fortunately.
And while I read blogs on the new laptop while I was gone, I didn't have time to post on my own blog. I was having too much fun.
This too-much-fun thing is quite unusual. I enjoyed it while I could.
Tomorrow I hope to feel better and get some work done for my employer.
Then back to blogging. :)
Fortunately.
And while I read blogs on the new laptop while I was gone, I didn't have time to post on my own blog. I was having too much fun.
This too-much-fun thing is quite unusual. I enjoyed it while I could.
Tomorrow I hope to feel better and get some work done for my employer.
Then back to blogging. :)
This Is a Criminal Intent
Law & Order: Criminal Intent's Chris Noth is moving on. While I like Noth well enough on the show, I can live with that. The one constant in the L&O family is change, after all, just like in "real" life.
What's criminal, however, is that his replacement is Jeff Goldblum.
Goldblum did an entirely too good job of being a Big Jerk in The Big Chill, and I've never found him anything but annoying.
Either I can live with it, or tune out every other episode. Or maybe Goldblum will surprise me and be, at worst, someone I love to hate.
Whatever.
What's criminal, however, is that his replacement is Jeff Goldblum.
Goldblum did an entirely too good job of being a Big Jerk in The Big Chill, and I've never found him anything but annoying.
Either I can live with it, or tune out every other episode. Or maybe Goldblum will surprise me and be, at worst, someone I love to hate.
Whatever.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
One Upside to Laptop Ownership
It serves as a nice alarm clock.
If the battery threatens to run out, clearly I've been on the computer too long.
It's good to have boundaries.
If the battery threatens to run out, clearly I've been on the computer too long.
It's good to have boundaries.
Blogging Has Just Cost Me $600
And counting.
Last night I bought a low-end laptop, even though I already have a perfectly good desktop.
I actually have a number of reasons for wanting one, several of them work-related, but no, I didn't really need a laptop. Except for one thing.
I'm about to go away for two weeks. I don't like to go a'blogging on others' computers, leaving behind my pinko liberal traitor browsing history (related post below).
Faced with two weeks away from reading blog posts, not to mention writing them, the stress pushed me over the edge and off I went to Best Buy with a store ad in hand.
I didn't buy the store ad on-sale laptop, but I didn't pay too much more for the one I got, and the helpful young man who answered my questions, including some I didn't know to ask, wasn't even working on commission, so there was nothing in it for him.
I'm not a big fan of the built-in computer mouse, but I got an optical wireless mouse. Yet I haven't even bothered to break it out.
Once I got home, I decided I really needed to set up wireless in my house. It was too late to go back to BB, so I went to WalMart. To shorten the story, I bought a router that I know I connected correctly, but that won't complete the set up. (Yes, I have an adapter for the desktop and a built-in in the laptop.) I went to the router's online support (connecting the conventional way), and found a chat area about my router, where I learned that many, many people have experienced exactly the problem I am having. With no resolution.
So I'm boxing the thing up and returning it today.
If anyone has any advice on an easy-to-use, reliable router, I'm hungry to hear it. I won't deal with this any more until I return from my trip, but other than going to Best Buy for advice, I really don't know what else to do.
Last night I bought a low-end laptop, even though I already have a perfectly good desktop.
I actually have a number of reasons for wanting one, several of them work-related, but no, I didn't really need a laptop. Except for one thing.
I'm about to go away for two weeks. I don't like to go a'blogging on others' computers, leaving behind my pinko liberal traitor browsing history (related post below).
Faced with two weeks away from reading blog posts, not to mention writing them, the stress pushed me over the edge and off I went to Best Buy with a store ad in hand.
I didn't buy the store ad on-sale laptop, but I didn't pay too much more for the one I got, and the helpful young man who answered my questions, including some I didn't know to ask, wasn't even working on commission, so there was nothing in it for him.
I'm not a big fan of the built-in computer mouse, but I got an optical wireless mouse. Yet I haven't even bothered to break it out.
Once I got home, I decided I really needed to set up wireless in my house. It was too late to go back to BB, so I went to WalMart. To shorten the story, I bought a router that I know I connected correctly, but that won't complete the set up. (Yes, I have an adapter for the desktop and a built-in in the laptop.) I went to the router's online support (connecting the conventional way), and found a chat area about my router, where I learned that many, many people have experienced exactly the problem I am having. With no resolution.
So I'm boxing the thing up and returning it today.
If anyone has any advice on an easy-to-use, reliable router, I'm hungry to hear it. I won't deal with this any more until I return from my trip, but other than going to Best Buy for advice, I really don't know what else to do.
Boogity, Boogity, Boogity!!! Or, Something Else I Saw Today
Exiting a stone store (as in pavers), I almost ran into a man wearing a t-shirt that read, "Beware Liberals Posing as Americans."
I wish I had run into him -- hard.
This equation is a big frame around my parts:
conservatives = Americans
non-conservatives = non-Americans
There's a bumper sticker on every fifth car with a flag graphic and the words, "Stand up for America. Be an American!"
Logic is totally missing from these slogans. If a person is an American, she's an American. Period. This isn't a recruiting bumper sticker, as in "come be a naturalized citizen!" Of that I am quite sure.
And as for Mr. T-shirt, he's up to here, literally, in scare tactics, either/or fallacies, strawman-baiting, etc. Another argument without evidence.
Boogity, boogity! Beware the liberal traitor! She might be buying stakes for her paver edging at a store near you, plotting the downfall of the greatest nation on the planet while making sure her pavers don't shift.
Or something like that.
I wish I had run into him -- hard.
This equation is a big frame around my parts:
conservatives = Americans
non-conservatives = non-Americans
There's a bumper sticker on every fifth car with a flag graphic and the words, "Stand up for America. Be an American!"
Logic is totally missing from these slogans. If a person is an American, she's an American. Period. This isn't a recruiting bumper sticker, as in "come be a naturalized citizen!" Of that I am quite sure.
And as for Mr. T-shirt, he's up to here, literally, in scare tactics, either/or fallacies, strawman-baiting, etc. Another argument without evidence.
Boogity, boogity! Beware the liberal traitor! She might be buying stakes for her paver edging at a store near you, plotting the downfall of the greatest nation on the planet while making sure her pavers don't shift.
Or something like that.
Right Outside the Front Door of Best Buy
Not the place I would expect to see a stretch limousine idling, with four adult couples in formal wear standing beside it and laughing and hugging.
But that's what I saw.
But that's what I saw.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
I Can Go Home Again
On Monday, I begin a two-week trip that will take me to my daughter's home and then take her, her boys, and me to spend a week in Maryland, where my mother and most of my other relatives live.
This trip almost didn't happen, and then it was only going to be a few days in Maryland, but now, now it's a full week.
I haven't allowed myself to get excited. Until today.
And some of these guys will be meeting their fate when they meet me:
and I'll have some of this:
And I'll see my mother, my seven sisters, two brothers, six nieces and nephews (yes, among all those siblings, they could only manage six kids -- I contributed three to the pool all by myself! [well, I had a little help...]), a great-niece and great-nephew, my ex's mother and some of her relatives...
This trip almost didn't happen, and then it was only going to be a few days in Maryland, but now, now it's a full week.
I haven't allowed myself to get excited. Until today.
And some of these guys will be meeting their fate when they meet me:
and I'll have some of this:
And I'll see my mother, my seven sisters, two brothers, six nieces and nephews (yes, among all those siblings, they could only manage six kids -- I contributed three to the pool all by myself! [well, I had a little help...]), a great-niece and great-nephew, my ex's mother and some of her relatives...
Women in Film
As we continue this Week of Wonder, in which a film about women actually made a lot of money, Shakesville's Question of the Day is generating quite a list of films carried by female leads here.
(The link to the NY Times article includes an hour-long video interview with Sarah Jessica Parker. I haven't had time to watch it all yet.)
(The link to the NY Times article includes an hour-long video interview with Sarah Jessica Parker. I haven't had time to watch it all yet.)
Calling Norma Rae...
Ugly things happening at work. Betrayal-level things.
Since I will only talk about work in generalties, I'll just say that this reminds me that the powerful always have power over the powerless, no matter what reassurances the powerful might make.
And management always assumes that there's more and better where you came from.
(Don't fret -- I am not on the verge of losing my job. At least I don't think I am. Metaphorically, however, perhaps I am. Because it's never going to be the same again.)
Since I will only talk about work in generalties, I'll just say that this reminds me that the powerful always have power over the powerless, no matter what reassurances the powerful might make.
And management always assumes that there's more and better where you came from.
(Don't fret -- I am not on the verge of losing my job. At least I don't think I am. Metaphorically, however, perhaps I am. Because it's never going to be the same again.)
Monday, June 02, 2008
A Teachable Moment
Although I'm not sure that I want to think of the study of poetry literally as punishment, one prosecutor and one teacher seem to have found just the right occasion to sentence vandals to two nights of poetry:
Although some vandals were quoted making statements that suggested they got it,
Call it poetic justice: More than two dozen young people who broke into Robert Frost's former home for a beer party and trashed the place are being required to take classes in his poetry as part of their punishment.
Using "The Road Not Taken" and another poem as jumping-off points, Frost biographer Jay Parini hopes to show the vandals the error of their ways -- and the redemptive power of poetry.
"I guess I was thinking that if these teens had a better understanding of who Robert Frost was and his contribution to our society, that they would be more respectful of other people's property in the future and would also learn something from the experience," said prosecutor John Quinn.
The vandalism occurred at the Homer Noble Farm in Ripton, where Frost spent more than 20 summers before his death in 1963. Now owned by Middlebury College, the unheated farmhouse on a dead-end road is used occasionally by the college and is open in the warmer months.
[...]
Parini, 60, a Middlebury College professor who has stayed at the house before, was eager to oblige when Quinn asked him to teach the classes. He donated his time for the two sessions.
On Wednesday, 11 turned out for the first, with Parini giving line-by-line interpretations of "The Road Not Taken" and "Out, Out-," seizing on parts with particular relevance to draw parallels to their case.
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood," he thundered, reciting the opening line of the first poem, which he called symbolic of the need to make choices in life.
"This is where Frost is relevant. This is the irony of this whole thing. You come to a path in the woods where you can say, `Shall I go to this party and get drunk out of my mind?"' he said. "Everything in life is choices."
Even the setting had parallels, he said: "Believe me, if you're a teenager, you're always in the damned woods. Literally, you're in the woods -- probably too much you're in the woods. And metaphorically you're in the woods, in your life. Look at you here, in court diversion! If that isn't `in the woods,' what the hell is `in the woods'? You're in the woods!"
Although some vandals were quoted making statements that suggested they got it,
[w]hen the session ended, the vandals were offered snacks -- apple cider, muffins, sliced fruit -- but none partook. They went straight for the door, several declining comment as they walked out of the building.
What's in a Name?
Or, a Muttering on Why I Really, Really, Really Hope That My DIL, Indian Princess, Doesn't Get Her Way about Naming Their Coming Baby, Should That Baby Be a Girl.
Based on what Indian Princess said to me recently about Marine Son suggesting other names, I dearly hope this is not a done deal. IP has had her heart set on a certain girl's name forever apparently, but you know what? Teenage dreams don't always go so well with adult realities. The only person I've ever heard of with IP's preferred name has had a tough, tough life, and as such, I'd hate to see a newborn baby be associated in any way with someone who's essentially famous for being, heartbreakingly, a walking disaster.
And she's made the news again.
Names should be a gift, not a burden.
(Grandmotherly rant over and out.)
Hat tip to Petulant at Shakesville.
Edit: On the same topic, what mother names her precious newborn Craphonso???
Based on what Indian Princess said to me recently about Marine Son suggesting other names, I dearly hope this is not a done deal. IP has had her heart set on a certain girl's name forever apparently, but you know what? Teenage dreams don't always go so well with adult realities. The only person I've ever heard of with IP's preferred name has had a tough, tough life, and as such, I'd hate to see a newborn baby be associated in any way with someone who's essentially famous for being, heartbreakingly, a walking disaster.
And she's made the news again.
Names should be a gift, not a burden.
(Grandmotherly rant over and out.)
Hat tip to Petulant at Shakesville.
Edit: On the same topic, what mother names her precious newborn Craphonso???
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I Told You So
Women pump up 'Sex and the City' to $55.7 million opening
("Pump up." Get it? Ha-ha.)
The women have spoken — with their designer wallets.
Female moviegoers, many of them decked out as their favorite Sex and the City character, helped drive the adaptation of the popular HBO show to a stunning $55.7 million this weekend, according to studio estimates from box office tracking firm Nielsen EDI.
The debut is nearly twice the projections of many analysts, who assumed the movie's R rating and cable TV fan base would limit it to a $30 million opening.
'Sex and City' beats 'Indy' for top box-office draw
"Sex and the City," a release from Time Warner Inc.'s New Line unit, not only prompted thousands of Cosmopolitan-fueled cocktail parties focused on its Friday debut, it also made nearly $27 million in its first day in theaters, said Paul Dergarabedian, president of box-office tracker Media By Numbers.Only to you and your ilk, sir.
It went on to rake in more than $17 million on Saturday and is expected to make more than $11 million on Sunday, Dergarabedian said. That's a surprise, considering the movie was expected to make somewhere around $35 million to $40 million for the entire weekend. "Sex and the City went off the air in 2004.
"We should never underestimate the clout of the female audience and the power of 'Sex and the City,'" Dergarabedian said. "This is the first real surprise of the summer."
Prior to Friday, [online ticket seller] Fandango reported that a survey of "Sex and the City" ticket buyers showed that 80% of all purchasers planned to attend a party devoted to the movie, and two-thirds planned to have Cosmopolitans, the signature drink of the television series' characters.
There's your financial stimulus. On Tuesday, Alanna and I will see the film and will also add to the economy by having a fabulous meal, but I'm not so sure about the Cosmos. (Well, I can only speak for myself.)
'Sex and the City': A Big Box Office Win
[T]hat $55.7 mil premiere is one for the history books. It is by far the best of all time for a romantic comedy, and it's also tops for a TV adaptation. It ranks as the No. 5 opening for an R-rated film (following those for a bunch of man-baiting movies like 300 and Hannibal). And when final weekend figures come out on Monday, it could be the fifth-top debut ever for New Line...
I told you so. Not that anyone who hangs around here was questioning my powers of observation. But it still feels really, really good to say.
Simple Math
I received by email a horribly offensive cartoon from my neighbor, one that hits on every big lie that's been spread about Barack Obama thus far (muslim extremist, Black Panther, anti-pledge of allegiance, etc.), and it occurs to me that in November we're going to raise our hands not to the question, "Who do you want for President?" but "How many of you are prejudiced and proud of it?"
And I'm afraid to know the answer to that question.
And I'm afraid to know the answer to that question.
Let it Rain Down on Me
Two years ago just about right now, I was somewhere in the midst of a cross-country trip with my daughter, son-in-law, and their two little boys. SIL is in the Navy and had just finished a year of schooling in San Diego. They had two vehicles to get back to the East coast, and I was along partly to keep daughter company, partly to help with the boys, partly to vacation. (We saw the Grand Canyon, the Garden of the Gods (wowee!), the St. Louis arch -- all the wonders left of the Mississippi. ;) )
Outside Albuquerque, we stayed in our one and only Holiday Inn Express. To set itself apart from the rest, HIE has bumped up its amenities, and indeed it was the nicest place we stayed. The soft, thick towels were nice, the snow-white textured shower curtain was nice, that curved shower curtain rod that allowed plenty of move-around room in the shower/tub area was nice, etc. etc.
But the spray that came out of the shower head was heavenly.
A card in the HIE room indicated that all the luxuries in its Stay Smart collection -- including the shower head -- were for sale, and when I got home, I found the shower head and bookmarked it.
Two years later I still think of that shower, like a fondly remembered night of mysterious romance carried close to the heart for decades.
The only thing that stopped me from ordering the Holiday Inn Express shower head the moment I got home was that it was a stationary fixture. I like my shower heads detachable, on long hoses. This preference goes back to the days of having to shampoo small, wiggly heads, but the detachable heads also make spraying down the shower area a lot easier at cleaning time. I also like to rinse my hair with the spray right next to my scalp, and...
Enough about my showering habits.
Two years later I still pine for the HIE shower head, but we remain apart.
Now I need a new shower head. It's no longer a mere desire, and it'll be a critical need before too much longer. So I went shopping, and last night on a modest end display, I found my beloved, in hand-held form, waiting for me in Home Depot. (Compare the photos, the specs, etc. of the HIE shower head and the Forte. They're the same. The same!!! This Home Depot internet link shows the stationary head, but the brick and mortar store had the detachable version.)
Still, I didn't buy it just then, and I wasn't sure until this morning, when I came online and compared the Kohler Forte:
to the Holiday Inn Express Kohler Stay Smart:
Except for the hunky man having the shower of his life, the two photos look the same to me.
Time to go shopping!
Outside Albuquerque, we stayed in our one and only Holiday Inn Express. To set itself apart from the rest, HIE has bumped up its amenities, and indeed it was the nicest place we stayed. The soft, thick towels were nice, the snow-white textured shower curtain was nice, that curved shower curtain rod that allowed plenty of move-around room in the shower/tub area was nice, etc. etc.
But the spray that came out of the shower head was heavenly.
A card in the HIE room indicated that all the luxuries in its Stay Smart collection -- including the shower head -- were for sale, and when I got home, I found the shower head and bookmarked it.
Two years later I still think of that shower, like a fondly remembered night of mysterious romance carried close to the heart for decades.
The only thing that stopped me from ordering the Holiday Inn Express shower head the moment I got home was that it was a stationary fixture. I like my shower heads detachable, on long hoses. This preference goes back to the days of having to shampoo small, wiggly heads, but the detachable heads also make spraying down the shower area a lot easier at cleaning time. I also like to rinse my hair with the spray right next to my scalp, and...
Enough about my showering habits.
Two years later I still pine for the HIE shower head, but we remain apart.
Now I need a new shower head. It's no longer a mere desire, and it'll be a critical need before too much longer. So I went shopping, and last night on a modest end display, I found my beloved, in hand-held form, waiting for me in Home Depot. (Compare the photos, the specs, etc. of the HIE shower head and the Forte. They're the same. The same!!! This Home Depot internet link shows the stationary head, but the brick and mortar store had the detachable version.)
Still, I didn't buy it just then, and I wasn't sure until this morning, when I came online and compared the Kohler Forte:
to the Holiday Inn Express Kohler Stay Smart:
Except for the hunky man having the shower of his life, the two photos look the same to me.
Time to go shopping!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Sometimes a Scarf is Just a Scarf, or Sorry, the Hoi Polloi Isn't Buying the Rachael Ray, Terrorist Spin
If you haven't heard this story, it goes like this:
1. Rachael Ray has an ongoing gig hawking Dunkin Donuts.
2. A stylist dressed her in a fringey scarf for a commercial.
3. Right-wing blogger Michelle Malkin (and others) claim that Ray is wearing a "jihadi chic keffiyeh." (No linkee to Malkin. Not gonna do it.)
In other words, Ray is adorned in unpatriotic terrorist garb, etc. and so forth. In response to the criticism, DD pulled the ad.
When these things happen -- and by the way, nothing much did happen except a well-known woman did a donut ad in a scarf until Malkin put her special spin on it -- what the right will say is predictable. So too with the left.
What's not so predictable is what people who aren't looking at the donut ad from a political angle will say.
I stumbled on a Donutgate article while looking for Lost articles, and what interested me -- I'm a sucker for news story comments -- is that in comments almost everyone decried the Rachael-Ray-dressed-as-terrorist spin as the pure and total nonsense it is, and they criticize Dunkin Donuts for overreacting, allowing themselves to be manipulated, etc.
During moments like this I have hope that our country's critical thinking skills haven't left us completely.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Mad for Mad Men and More
To stave off my Lost withdrawal, I found a killer article on Mad Men on EW. (This is for Alanna and Bee!) The Golden Globe-winning show returns July 27 and I can barely wait.If you're not watching this show, you should be. You have been admonished.
The article contained another gem: series star and Golden Globe winner Jon Hamm spent his off-time filming a movie. I'm happy for Hamm, but not sure how I feel about this. The inevitable has happened (and this is for Phil): The Day the Earth Stood Still has been remade, with a December release date. And it stars...Keanu Reeves as Klaatu.
Well, I guess Reeves knows how to act like someone from outer space...
Thursday, May 29, 2008
It's Lostday!!!
Good news: Two-hour Lost finale at 9:00
Bad news: Beginning of long Lost drought at 11:00
Guardian Columnist Unsuccessfully Attempts Citizen's Arrest of John Bolton
Guardian columnist George Monbiot unsuccessfully tried arresting John Bolton at a literary festival in England:
Security guards blocked the path of columnist and activist George Monbiot, who tried to make the arrest as Mr Bolton left the stage.
The former ambassador - a key advisor to President George W Bush who argued strongly in favour of invading Iraq - had been giving a talk on international relations to more than 600 people at the literary festival.
Mr Monbiot was blocked by two heavily-built security guards at the end of the one-and-a-half hour appearance, before he could serve a "charge sheet" on him.
[...]
Mr Monbiot said moments later he was "disappointed" that he had been blocked from making the citizen's arrest.
"This was a serious attempt to bring one of the perpetrators of the Iraq war to justice, for what is described under the Nuremberg Principles as an international crime," he said.
[...]
A citizen's arrest can be carried out under certain circumstances by a member of the public, if they believe a person had carried out a crime, under the Serious and Organised Crime and Police Act 2005.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
We're All Samuel Pepys Now
We’re all Samuel Pepys now.
I’ve had that thought dozens of times, but I never wrote it down until today, in response to Brave Sir Robin's prodding that we go read a post on his friend’s site, about knitting. And other important things. Then my comments on his blog blossomed into this post.
This story of knitting and crisis and love is just one example of why I love blogging. We're all Samuel Pepys now, all working to make sense of our individual corners of the world, documenting those thoughts, and enriching each others' lives in the process.
The art of letter writing may be dying as people e-mail one another instead, and then delete rather than put the precious words in a shoebox or a file cabinet drawer. We’re losing the intimacy of our correspondents’ handwriting, the fragrance of the scented stationery, the little oil stains from the lunch carelessly eaten above the note – perhaps by both writer and reader.
But what we lose when we lose that old way of doing things, we gain tenfold through blogging. Not only can we continue to connect with our friends, we form new friendships with people we’d never meet otherwise, even though we may never “meet” them face-to-face (in some cases we may never even know their “real” names or faces). These are friendships just the same, and I cherish mine. We know they love cats, or their favorite foods, or why it’s bliss for them to get out of town on the weekend. We worry about their health crises. We revel in their zany, lovable way with words. We live abroad with them vicariously. Or in the big city. We watch them manage their money with panache. We hear their powerful voices and see through their eyes the beauty in the smallest things (really, you should sample this blog!). Other times we just peek in once or twice on people who remain strangers, but who still allow us and anyone else who cares to drop by a casual intimacy that we simply couldn’t get in the face-to-face world where in a crowd we’re mostly a little stand-offish, fiercely maintaining our personal space.
Pepys didn’t aspire to be a writer of importance for centuries. He was simply observing, just as we bloggers are. I sometimes wonder where our blogs will be in 10, 20, 100 years. Somewhere still archived, I hope. Here lie riches for the sociologists, folklorists, anthropologists, and historians of the future, those scholars who will want to know how people lived their lives in the early 21st century.
Because we’re all Samuel Pepys now.
I'm Wearing This
(Not actually Bitty, unfortunately.)When Alanna and I go to see Sex and the City next week, I'll be wearing this, although I won't look quite so fabulous in it.
Just so you all know.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Oh, Noes! A Girly Film!!
"There's no getting around that this is a film oriented to women and gay men...It will be very hard to get past that, especially with a lot of testosterone-driven films out there this summer."
Earlier today I wrote this post, put it up for about 10 minutes, and pulled it down. My original discussion MIGHT have been a little unkind to he who uttered those words, one movie analyst named Jeff Bock of Reel Source (for which I can find no website), because I rained all my sarcasm down on his head. Bock's words appear in an AP article that asks the musical question, "Can women alone make 'Sex and the City' a hit?" Bock didn't write the piece, doesn't deserve all the blame, and may well have been taken out of context. (Setting the piece's title and Bock's quote aside, the article seems to be suggesting that interest in the film is wide and deep. In other words, here we seem to have another media-created controversy where none otherwise exists.) Regardless of where or how the idea originated, the suggestion offered in Bock's words set me off. So here I go, slightly revised:
Understandably, Sex and the City is not a film that will appeal to most men. And while Bock didn't write the whole piece and may well have been quoted out of context, he seems to be suggesting that a film that doesn't appeal to men (he oddly calls this film a "paternity test") couldn't possibly make money.
If Bock has not been taken out of context, I'm not sure what, exactly, it is we need to "get around" or "get past" besides nineteenth-century notions about women and agency. Bock appears not to offer his analysis based on anything particularly concrete, such as the enormous following the HBO series had in its original run and continues to have on TBS even in its eviscerated (cleaned up) state, or the clamor for this film that began before the series even ended, or the DVD sales -- currently the 6-season box set (not the "luxury package") is #26 in DVD on Amazon, an interestingly high stat considering that many fans bought the series long ago. The point Bock seems to be making is based on the faulty premise that without men in the seats, movies can't make money. Yet the series has been hand-over-fisting it for years, despite its girly nature.
Anyway, any Hollywood accountant worth her billing hours knows that the box office, which yes, may fall off after the first weeks as is true of many films, is only a small part of the story: it's a film's afterlife that often brings the windfall, and the Sex DVD, which I predict will be released just in time for holiday gift-giving, will bring that windfall.
I think that Bock is equating "hit" with "competition," as in "who makes the most money?" not "who makes money?" (What a testosterone-driven idea!) However, my analysis, based on the excitement I know exists around the film is this: the backers of this film will not regret their investment.
Here's an idea that Bock apparently hasn't factored in: Sex and the City will appeal to many people who have no interest whatsoever in "testosterone-driven films," people whose money would otherwise remain tucked away in their checking accounts. People who are women.
I know two of those people well, and we've already made our girly-date to go see the film on June 3.
(For another take-down on this article, see Melissa at Shakesville.)
(Another SATC analysis, although not based on this article, comes from Philosophy Factory, who is currently vacationing in a different city, Sin City.)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I'm Not an Attorney, But I Played One on TV
...and that lack of real-life experience isn't stopping Dylan McDermott, formerly attorney Bobby Donnell on The Practice, from serving as his own divorce lawyer.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I've Got a Secret
It occurs to me that it's really quite unethical to tell someone something -- and then AFTER the fact say that it's a secret and not to tell.
The person who does this essentially asks the receiver of the message to lie, and this without giving her the opportunity to refuse to hear the secret.
This has just happened to me, and while in the end, the person being kept out of the loop is eventually going to be told the secret, my job (my lie) is to remember that I didn't know it first, even though I did.
I don't like being asked to lie, and upon reflection, it occurs to me that this person, who shall remain even pseudonymously nameless, frequently says, "don't tell So and So" when little (usually dumb, insignificant) things happen that she'd rather he not know.
Am I right, or am I overly sensitive?
The person who does this essentially asks the receiver of the message to lie, and this without giving her the opportunity to refuse to hear the secret.
This has just happened to me, and while in the end, the person being kept out of the loop is eventually going to be told the secret, my job (my lie) is to remember that I didn't know it first, even though I did.
I don't like being asked to lie, and upon reflection, it occurs to me that this person, who shall remain even pseudonymously nameless, frequently says, "don't tell So and So" when little (usually dumb, insignificant) things happen that she'd rather he not know.
Am I right, or am I overly sensitive?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
One Week Later
I was gone a week and a day. In that week:
My cat, Baby, decided that, with spoilsport me out of the way, the dining table is now his domain. I have no idea how I'm going to keep him off it.
Baby shedded about 1/4 of a cat's worth of fur.
My outdoor potted plants did not die, although the Weather Channel told me every day that it was very dry here.
Apparently we had quite a windstorm at least once because said potted plants are blown all over the place and I need to go out and find where my Sirius antenna went.
A mystery and why I'm really posting on this topic: my neighbors, whose mailbox has been in one position the 32 years they've occupied their home, have planted a second mailbox (apparently not a replacement) five feet away from the old one, and rather low to the ground.
I Don't Play Favorites
I just searched my own blog and can't believe I've never ranted about this:
SECURITY QUESTIONS.
I despise them to the core of my being (the one rare exception: the website that allows you to ask and answer your own questions). Why do I hate them?
They rarely ask answerable questions.
For instance, I had to set up three security questions to get into my bank account. I did NOT get to choose these questions. They were:
The third question is the worst. It reminds me of the old "philosophical" question: your child and your spouse are drowning. You can only save one. Which one will you save and why?
Cookies, I don't have a favorite person. The people in my life bring me joy in different ways. I'd like to think they feel the same way about me in relationship to the other people in their lives.
Today I had to set up a new charge card for online payment. I had to answer FIVE security questions. They gave me about 20 to choose from, but at least 15 of them were "favorite" questions. Several others were "it depends" questions: e.g., where did you meet your spouse? (Are you asking specifically where we were [in the hallway between the old building and the new], or generally [high school]? Am I going to remember which answer I gave or, more importantly, how I worded it?) I was barely able to find five answerable questions. I already keep a notebook with passwords. I'd hate to have to start another for answers to security questions.
And the bank account problem? I had to solve it just that way: make a decision -- not entirely true because these are not my "favorite" restaurant and person -- and write the answers down.
Which seems to me not so secure after all.
SECURITY QUESTIONS.
I despise them to the core of my being (the one rare exception: the website that allows you to ask and answer your own questions). Why do I hate them?
They rarely ask answerable questions.
For instance, I had to set up three security questions to get into my bank account. I did NOT get to choose these questions. They were:
I have no single, favorite restaurant, nor do I usually have an answer for the questions like them: favorite TV show? movie? song? actor? etc? etc? (I actually do have a favorite drink: diet Pepsi. But rarely do I have a single answer to a question like this.)Favorite restaurant?
Favorite drink?
Favorite person?
The third question is the worst. It reminds me of the old "philosophical" question: your child and your spouse are drowning. You can only save one. Which one will you save and why?
Cookies, I don't have a favorite person. The people in my life bring me joy in different ways. I'd like to think they feel the same way about me in relationship to the other people in their lives.
Today I had to set up a new charge card for online payment. I had to answer FIVE security questions. They gave me about 20 to choose from, but at least 15 of them were "favorite" questions. Several others were "it depends" questions: e.g., where did you meet your spouse? (Are you asking specifically where we were [in the hallway between the old building and the new], or generally [high school]? Am I going to remember which answer I gave or, more importantly, how I worded it?) I was barely able to find five answerable questions. I already keep a notebook with passwords. I'd hate to have to start another for answers to security questions.
And the bank account problem? I had to solve it just that way: make a decision -- not entirely true because these are not my "favorite" restaurant and person -- and write the answers down.
Which seems to me not so secure after all.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Bugging Out
I'm off to my daughter's in NC for about a week. She just happens to live in my daughter-in-law's hometown. DIL and her (and Marine Son's) son are there, so off I go for a family-fun-filled Mother's Day weekend, complete with a pig pickin'. (I don't quite know what that is, but I can guess, and I'll know for sure soon enough.)
I may or may not get to check in -- everyone have a great Mother's Day!
I may or may not get to check in -- everyone have a great Mother's Day!
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Bad Career Move
Big drug bust at San Diego State University today.
Ouch:
This won't look good on the resumes.
Ouch:
Those arrested included a student who was about to receive a criminal justice degree and another who was to receive a master's degree in homeland security.
This won't look good on the resumes.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Isn't It Ironic?
Regarding the report that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are engaged, CNN reminds us that Reynolds, who formerly -- and relatively recently -- was engaged to Alanis Morissette, "recently starred in 'Definitely, Maybe.'"
Scattergories Meme
Picked up at kona's place.
All questions must be answered by using a word that begins with the same letter as your name. I'm not willing to use my "real" name, so let's go with Bitty, shall we?
1. What is your name? Bitty
2. A four-letter word: both
3. A vehicle: bus
4. A city: Baltimore (near where I grew up)
5. A boy's name: Bobby
6. A girl's name: Barbara
7. Alcoholic drink: beer
8. An occupation: brain surgeon
9. Something you wear: bra
10. A celebrity: Brigitte Bardot
11. A food: bread
12. Something found in a bathroom: bathtub
13. Reason for being late: boredom (ok, so I had to stretch on this one, but if I'm not motivated to go wherever, it might take me a while to get there...)
14. Something you shout: BINGO!!!
15. An animal: badger
16. A body part: brain
More fun (and in a few instances, harder) than I expected.
If you like, have at it.
All questions must be answered by using a word that begins with the same letter as your name. I'm not willing to use my "real" name, so let's go with Bitty, shall we?
1. What is your name? Bitty
2. A four-letter word: both
3. A vehicle: bus
4. A city: Baltimore (near where I grew up)
5. A boy's name: Bobby
6. A girl's name: Barbara
7. Alcoholic drink: beer
8. An occupation: brain surgeon
9. Something you wear: bra
10. A celebrity: Brigitte Bardot
11. A food: bread
12. Something found in a bathroom: bathtub
13. Reason for being late: boredom (ok, so I had to stretch on this one, but if I'm not motivated to go wherever, it might take me a while to get there...)
14. Something you shout: BINGO!!!
15. An animal: badger
16. A body part: brain
More fun (and in a few instances, harder) than I expected.
If you like, have at it.
What I hope to be my one and only post about the sick-o who raped his daughter and imprisoned her and their children for DECADES
The man is pleading insanity. Well, yes. It is "insane" to do what he has done. But that doesn't mean it's unpunishable.
Since his attorney can't imagine it, it must be so.
But that’s not why I’m posting on this. One thing has been bothering me since the beginning. This man imprisoned his family and presumably no one knew of their existence in the cellar.
What would have happened had he died? He is, after all, in his 70s. Had he left papers behind instructing someone to rescue his family? Would his wife have finally gone to the cellar and, finding the strange locked door, asked someone to help her find out what was behind it? Or might she have been so afraid of his insistence that she never go there that she would have left it alone?
In other words, would Elizabeth and the children have simply starved to death, abandoned in their prison?
And if this thought occurs to me, I (having perhaps a little more imagination than Fritzl’s attorney) imagine that it had occurred to Elizabeth. And she had to live with that fear on top of all the others.
Life in that basement was a nightmare in so many more ways than one.
His lawyer, Attorney Rudolf Mayer said he believed 73-year-old Josef Fritzl had a mental disorder, The Associated Press reported.
Mayer said: "I believe that the trigger was a mental disorder, because I can't imagine that someone has sex with his own daughter without having a mental disorder," Mayer said in an interview broadcast late Sunday.
Since his attorney can't imagine it, it must be so.
But that’s not why I’m posting on this. One thing has been bothering me since the beginning. This man imprisoned his family and presumably no one knew of their existence in the cellar.
What would have happened had he died? He is, after all, in his 70s. Had he left papers behind instructing someone to rescue his family? Would his wife have finally gone to the cellar and, finding the strange locked door, asked someone to help her find out what was behind it? Or might she have been so afraid of his insistence that she never go there that she would have left it alone?
In other words, would Elizabeth and the children have simply starved to death, abandoned in their prison?
And if this thought occurs to me, I (having perhaps a little more imagination than Fritzl’s attorney) imagine that it had occurred to Elizabeth. And she had to live with that fear on top of all the others.
Life in that basement was a nightmare in so many more ways than one.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Grades are not Pizzas
A student sent me an e-mail today asking me what his final grade is. He asks, he says (and not nearly as grammatically correctly as I recreate it here), because he needs a 3.0, which he says means he needs a B plus in my class to keep his car insurance discount.
Friends, he has not done B plus work.
The time for students to get the grade they "need" is the 16 weeks of the semester, not final-grading weekend.
This e-mail is typical of the pressure we get from some students who have decided what grade they want or need in our classes and continually push us in that direction, sometimes subtly and sometimes not. Well, I NEED an A, they insist. Despite the fact that I give class instruction in what the elements of an A, B, C, etc. are and I have posted samples of A papers, they think that because writing is (in their eyes) not as cut and dried in its grading as in many classes, where they are often asked multiple-choice questions and are graded by a scantron machine, grades are negotiable, or worse: orderable, like a pepperoni pizza. No anchovies, please.
But grades are not pizzas and are earned, not ordered.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Lost: Something Nice Back Home
Checking in long enough to say...
this was the first Lost episode in ages that provided more answers than questions.
Plenty of questions, too, though.
(Nice way to mislead us in the previews by saying "the island takes one survivor for its own..." Ha! I fell for it.)
this was the first Lost episode in ages that provided more answers than questions.
Plenty of questions, too, though.
(Nice way to mislead us in the previews by saying "the island takes one survivor for its own..." Ha! I fell for it.)
Monday, April 28, 2008
National Poetry Month: More Money than Time
And any time I have more money than time, I'm in serious trouble.
Expect much radio silence from these corners for the next 7-10 days. I have a zillion things to grade, many of them poetry explications, 500 jillion calculations to make, and a very fixed deadline.
Enjoy this until I return and think gentle thoughts of me, because this is pretty much what I'll be reading.*
Taylor Mali, take it away...
*In truth, many of my students are excellent writers. But far too many do write exactly like this -- they have no idea that the words they've put on the page are not the words they intend. It's scary, but it's also evidence of just how far we've gone down the road toward once again becoming an oral culture.
Expect much radio silence from these corners for the next 7-10 days. I have a zillion things to grade, many of them poetry explications, 500 jillion calculations to make, and a very fixed deadline.
Enjoy this until I return and think gentle thoughts of me, because this is pretty much what I'll be reading.*
Taylor Mali, take it away...
*In truth, many of my students are excellent writers. But far too many do write exactly like this -- they have no idea that the words they've put on the page are not the words they intend. It's scary, but it's also evidence of just how far we've gone down the road toward once again becoming an oral culture.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Lost: The Shape of Things to Come
...and they won't be pretty.
My unscientific sampling suggests that at 10:58 Eastern Standard Time, millions of Lost fans were moaning the same thing: "Nooooo, not Penny!!!" I base this on the fact that not only is that what I was saying, but several minutes later when I called my daughter, that, not hello, was the first thing she said to me.
It's pretty clear at this point -- to me, anyway -- that time travel (in body and not just mind) from the island is possible, though not easy, and last night Ben pulled it off, jumping from (probably) late 2003 to 2005. Apparently the desert is the arrival point (hence the "ancient" polar bear remains with the Dharma charm previously found in mid-desert).
One suspects that this is Ben's first such trip. Witness his glee at confirming that yes, of course, it's 2005 (Michael Emerson so rocks):
The big mystery is the nature of the Ben/Widmore rivalry. The game of Risk played by the men in the early scene serves as metaphor for the rest of the episode. But how? When Widmore tells Ben to go ahead and kill him, Ben says, "You know I can't do that." Yet Ben is earlier stunned to find that Widmore has "changed the rules" (NOT "violated" them). That Ben "can't" kill Widmore suggests that there's something going on beyond a pissing match between these two men, some larger force that restrains him.
What?????
Oh, and now we know how Ben manipulated Sayid into being his personal assassin. (This leads us to wonder who really killed Nadia.)
Of late, I've been inclined to believe that Ben was being truthful all those times that he has said, "We're the good guys." Despite the fact that many of his actions have had heinous effects on individuals, he seems to subscribe to utilitarianism as his worldview.
But threatening Penny? That's clearly just personal. And mean.
(The splendid screencaps come from here.)
My unscientific sampling suggests that at 10:58 Eastern Standard Time, millions of Lost fans were moaning the same thing: "Nooooo, not Penny!!!" I base this on the fact that not only is that what I was saying, but several minutes later when I called my daughter, that, not hello, was the first thing she said to me.
It's pretty clear at this point -- to me, anyway -- that time travel (in body and not just mind) from the island is possible, though not easy, and last night Ben pulled it off, jumping from (probably) late 2003 to 2005. Apparently the desert is the arrival point (hence the "ancient" polar bear remains with the Dharma charm previously found in mid-desert).
One suspects that this is Ben's first such trip. Witness his glee at confirming that yes, of course, it's 2005 (Michael Emerson so rocks):
The big mystery is the nature of the Ben/Widmore rivalry. The game of Risk played by the men in the early scene serves as metaphor for the rest of the episode. But how? When Widmore tells Ben to go ahead and kill him, Ben says, "You know I can't do that." Yet Ben is earlier stunned to find that Widmore has "changed the rules" (NOT "violated" them). That Ben "can't" kill Widmore suggests that there's something going on beyond a pissing match between these two men, some larger force that restrains him.
What?????
Oh, and now we know how Ben manipulated Sayid into being his personal assassin. (This leads us to wonder who really killed Nadia.)
Of late, I've been inclined to believe that Ben was being truthful all those times that he has said, "We're the good guys." Despite the fact that many of his actions have had heinous effects on individuals, he seems to subscribe to utilitarianism as his worldview.
But threatening Penny? That's clearly just personal. And mean.
(The splendid screencaps come from here.)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Lost
lostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlostlost
Tonight.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
National Poetry Month: Sonnet 130
SONNET 130
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
Is Will just being sarcastic?
Standing the tired old Italian sonnet on its head?
Or is this a pure and honest expression of love?
(Happy birthday, Will!)
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
Is Will just being sarcastic?
Standing the tired old Italian sonnet on its head?
Or is this a pure and honest expression of love?
(Happy birthday, Will!)
Star and Al: Over
According to the AP:
No one could have predicted this would happen.
Three years after tying the knot in a spectacular, over-the-top affair that caused some backlash, Star Jones has decided to end her marriage to banker Al Reynolds.
No one could have predicted this would happen.
Odd synchronicity
Two obituaries juxtaposed on CNN, literally on the same line of the opening page:
Soul singer Al Wilson, best known for the song "Show and Tell," has died at age 68. Wilson was born in Meridian, Mississippi.
Soft rocker Paul Davis, best known for the song "I Go Crazy" has died at age 60. Although CNN doesn't mention his place of birth, Wikipedia reports that Davis too was born in Meridian, Mississippi, where he also died.
(If you're of the right age, I'll bet at least one of those songs is in your head right now.)
My daughter lived for a while in Meridian and was married there.* It's kind of at the ends of the earth, frankly. Yet quite a few other famous people arose from that earth, including Sela Ward, Jimmie Rodgers, Diane Ladd...and the infamous Fred Phelps.
*Fun fact: she was married less than two months before her 21st birthday, but I had to give notarized permission for her to apply for the marriage license since parental permission is required for anyone under 21 to marry. This was not how you thought of Mississippi, was it?
Soul singer Al Wilson, best known for the song "Show and Tell," has died at age 68. Wilson was born in Meridian, Mississippi.
Soft rocker Paul Davis, best known for the song "I Go Crazy" has died at age 60. Although CNN doesn't mention his place of birth, Wikipedia reports that Davis too was born in Meridian, Mississippi, where he also died.
(If you're of the right age, I'll bet at least one of those songs is in your head right now.)
My daughter lived for a while in Meridian and was married there.* It's kind of at the ends of the earth, frankly. Yet quite a few other famous people arose from that earth, including Sela Ward, Jimmie Rodgers, Diane Ladd...and the infamous Fred Phelps.
*Fun fact: she was married less than two months before her 21st birthday, but I had to give notarized permission for her to apply for the marriage license since parental permission is required for anyone under 21 to marry. This was not how you thought of Mississippi, was it?
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Go, Speed Racer!
The answer to the question, So if Danica Patrick's a real racer, when is she going to win a race? has an answer: today.
Patrick took the lead in the Indy Japan in lap 198 of 200.
"This is the best day of my life," [her father] T.J. said. "I've dreamt about it. I'm so proud of her. For all the grief she has gotten over it, she proved she can win races and she is going to win a lot more."Helio Castroneves, the man she edged out at the end, was gracious:
Danica's husband, Paul Hospenthal, is a professional physical therapist who works with athletes in MLB, professional tennis and golf.
"Female aside, she's just a hard competitor," Hospenthal said. "She never asked to be the female in the male sport; she just wants to work hard. With any race car driver, coming to the lead and winning like this and showing a little patience is fantastic."
At times, that patience was tested. For the first 49 races of her career, she was constantly hounded by the questions, "When are you going to win a race?" or "Are you ever going to win a race?" She became the first woman to lead the Indianapolis 500 in 2005 and was in front with seven laps to go before fading to a fourth-place finish that year.
But in her 50th start, Patrick finally answered those questions and lived up to her billing off the track.
"I'm so happy for her, so proud of her," said team owner Michael Andretti. "It's always been a matter of when, not if when she was going to win. I'm so proud of her the way she did it. She stuck to her numbers and her speed. I love this girl. I'm so happy for her the monkey is off her back.
"There will be more of this to come."
"With five laps to go, I was saving fuel," Castroneves said. "When Danica passed me, I realized she was the leader. She did a great job, passed me fair and square and that shows you how competitive our series is."I see that everyone quoted in these stories is male -- it would have been nice at least to hear her mother's reaction -- but I suppose it's tough to turn to the female experts for comment when Patrick is in a class by herself: at 26, the first woman ever to win an IndyCar race.
Edit: Litbrit has an eloquent and personal post on Patrick's win here.
Worth the Wait
July 1, 2008: the day Mad Men's first season releases on DVD. How quickly did I preorder after discovering this? Well, how quickly do you think I can click-click-click-click and click?As I waited impatiently these past months to hear something on the DVD release, I presumed that the reason it was taking so long was so the producers could put together a nice special features pack. I should say so:
“MAD MEN Series Commentary” – audio commentaries on all 13 episodesCommentary on all thirteen eps? Be still, my heart.
“Establishing MAD MEN” – featurette exploring the world of MAD MEN
“Advertising the American Dream” – featurette on the 1960’s creative revolution in media
“Pictures of Elegance” – Photo Gallery with Commentaries from the Costume, Hair and Production Designers
“Scoring MAD MEN” – A One-on-One Discussion with Composer David Carbonara
MAD MEN Music Sampler
AMC's official description of the show doesn't do it justice, but I get all finger-tied when I try to write about it, so cribbing the official description is the best I can do:
Set in 1960 New York, MAD MEN reveals the lives of the ruthlessly competitive men and women of Madison Avenue’s “Golden Age”, where key players make the art of the sell while their private lives get sold. And no one plays the game better than Don Draper (Golden Globe®-winner Jon Hamm), the biggest ad man – and ladies man in the business. As Don makes the plays in the boardroom and the bedroom, he struggles to stay a step ahead of the rapidly changing times and the young executives nipping at his heels.It's so much more than that. Oh, is it so much more!
The show's pedigree: created by Matthew Weiner, one of the producer/writers on The Sopranos (a show I could never get into, but maybe someday I'll try again). In fact, he submitted the pilot for Mad Men as his writing sample when he applied for the Sopranos job. Even though I could never embrace The Sopranos, I could appreciate its complexity and moral ambiguity, and the same features fuel Mad Men.
If you have cable or satellite and haven't seen this show (airing on AMC), why? Why?
National Poetry Month: Did I Miss Anything?
One of my favorites:
Did I Miss Anything?
--Tom Wayman
Nothing. When we realized you weren’t here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like:
any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose
how could something significant occur?
Did I Miss Anything?
--Tom Wayman
Nothing. When we realized you weren’t here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours
Everything. I gave an exam worthNothing. None of the content of this course
40 percent of the grade for this term
and assigned some reading due today
on which I’m about to hand out a quiz
worth 50 percent
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like:
any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose
Everything. A few minutes after we began last timeNothing. When you are not present
a shaft of light suddenly descended and an angel
or other heavenly being appeared
and revealed to us what each woman or man must do
to attain divine wisdom in this life and
the hereafter
This is the last time the class will meet
before we disperse to bring the good news to all people
on earth.
how could something significant occur?
Everything. Contained in this classroom
is a microcosm of human experience
assembled for you to query and examine and ponder
This is not the only place such an opportunity has been
gathered
but it was one place
And you weren’t here
Saturday, April 19, 2008
You Could At Least Act Like You Care
I was solicited by e-mail to take a survey about a tv show that I watch. I decided to go ahead.
First question: your gender? (male or female)
Second question: your age? (offering at least 10 different ranges to choose from)
Upon my truthfully answering the second question I got this message:
This concludes this survey. Thank you for participating.
Obviously, due to my "advanced" age, my opinion does not matter.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Life Requires VISA, or, Cashierin' is a Hard Thing to Do
Our campus Starbucks operates not unlike this ad. Regardless of the length of the line, it moves quite quickly and smoothly. And like most of the patrons in the ad, I usually use my VISA check card to pay for my purchases.
But not last night.
I had some cash, actual cash, in my pocket when I went to pay for my banana nut loaf, total $2.19. I handed over a ten and two dimes, and after punching a few buttons and pausing, the cashier went all funny on me. She got this weird this-is-funny-no-it's-not look on her face, ducked her head and turned to the guy next to her. After mumbling, she left the register and he stayed to deal with me.
"How much money did you give her?" he asked.
"A ten," I said, thinking that perhaps she forgot which denomination of bill I gave her.
"Was that all?" he asked.
"Two dimes."
"Okay," he said, "so you get..."
But the young woman returned and interrupted, giggling. "I figured it out."
"...eight dollars and one cent," the guy said, handing me my change.
Nuts to all that
Mustang Bobby at Shakesville brought an important issue to my attention this morning: the Florida legislature has debated the urgent matter of truck nuts, with the result that rednecks and other asses across the state can continue to exercise their constitutional right to use free speech to display what idiots they truly are.
This got me all riled up in the comments, and I decided to cross-post what I said here. Blood is going to be running in the halls next week as students face finals and final papers, and some face the fact that as they try to register for fall they not only aren't going to be able to get the schedule they want, but the schedule they need. The current worst job in the university right now has to be that of academic adviser, as these are the people who will take the brunt of the fury that rightfully belongs elsewhere.
The state's economy is rickety, and this is going to become very clear to our school's students and their parents this coming week when the students with late registration appointments try to register and can't put together a full schedule because the classes they need are not available, and no more are being added. (We have cut a lot of classes out of the schedule.) This is going to create some bad, bad consequences, not the least of which is that federal financial aid requires students to take a certain number of credit hours. Furthermore, some people in what they thought was their final semester will have to wait to graduate because the classes they need are either full or not being offered.
High school seniors who have worked diligently to get themselves into college are now receiving letters that they have a "deferred" acceptance, which seems to mean we'll let you in as soon as we know for sure we have classes for you.
But truck balls -- truck balls are the truly important issue facing our state, and I'm relieved to know that they are getting the attention they deserve.
This got me all riled up in the comments, and I decided to cross-post what I said here. Blood is going to be running in the halls next week as students face finals and final papers, and some face the fact that as they try to register for fall they not only aren't going to be able to get the schedule they want, but the schedule they need. The current worst job in the university right now has to be that of academic adviser, as these are the people who will take the brunt of the fury that rightfully belongs elsewhere.
The state's economy is rickety, and this is going to become very clear to our school's students and their parents this coming week when the students with late registration appointments try to register and can't put together a full schedule because the classes they need are not available, and no more are being added. (We have cut a lot of classes out of the schedule.) This is going to create some bad, bad consequences, not the least of which is that federal financial aid requires students to take a certain number of credit hours. Furthermore, some people in what they thought was their final semester will have to wait to graduate because the classes they need are either full or not being offered.
High school seniors who have worked diligently to get themselves into college are now receiving letters that they have a "deferred" acceptance, which seems to mean we'll let you in as soon as we know for sure we have classes for you.
But truck balls -- truck balls are the truly important issue facing our state, and I'm relieved to know that they are getting the attention they deserve.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Long Distance Phone Call
...from Iraq, this morning.
Marine Son is doing fine. He had a little downtime and thought he'd call his mother.
A nice boy, that one.
Marine Son is doing fine. He had a little downtime and thought he'd call his mother.
A nice boy, that one.
National Poetry Month: The Excrement Poem
Somehow I managed not to come across this one until last year:
The Excrement Poem
--Maxine Kumin
It is done by us all, as God disposes, from
the least cast of worm to must have been
in the case of the brontosaur, say, spoor
of considerable heft, something awesome.
We eat, we evacuate, survivors that we are.
I think these things each morning with shovel
and rake, drawing the risen brown buns
toward me, fresh from the horse oven, as it were,
or culling the alfalfa-green ones, expelled
in a state of ooze, through the sawdust bed
to take a serviceable form, as putty does,
so as to lift out entire from the stall.
And wheeling to it, storming up the slope,
I think of the angle of repose the manure
pile assumes, how sparrows come to pick
the redelivered grain, how inky-cap
coprinus mushrooms spring up in a downpour.
I think of what drops from us and must then
be moved to make way for the next and next.
However much we stain the world, spatter
it with our leavings, make stenches, defile
the great formal oceans with what leaks down,
trundling off today’s last barrowful,
I honor shit for saying: We go on.
The Excrement Poem
--Maxine Kumin
It is done by us all, as God disposes, from
the least cast of worm to must have been
in the case of the brontosaur, say, spoor
of considerable heft, something awesome.
We eat, we evacuate, survivors that we are.
I think these things each morning with shovel
and rake, drawing the risen brown buns
toward me, fresh from the horse oven, as it were,
or culling the alfalfa-green ones, expelled
in a state of ooze, through the sawdust bed
to take a serviceable form, as putty does,
so as to lift out entire from the stall.
And wheeling to it, storming up the slope,
I think of the angle of repose the manure
pile assumes, how sparrows come to pick
the redelivered grain, how inky-cap
coprinus mushrooms spring up in a downpour.
I think of what drops from us and must then
be moved to make way for the next and next.
However much we stain the world, spatter
it with our leavings, make stenches, defile
the great formal oceans with what leaks down,
trundling off today’s last barrowful,
I honor shit for saying: We go on.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
National Poetry Month: American Academy of Arts and Letters Edition
Just as it's hard to get a seat on the bench of the Supreme Court, the only way a prominent artist can become a member of the 250-member American Academy of Arts and Letters is if a, um, vacancy occurs.
Eight such vacancies apparently occurred over the past year. Newly elected members include humorist (and poet) Calvin Trillin, someone to whom I turn when I despair of the world in which I live. From Trillin's little gem of an anthology Obliviously On He Sails: The Bush Administration in Rhyme:
Cheney’s Head: An Explanation
One mystery I’ve tried to disentangle:
Why Cheney’s head is always at an angle.
He tries to come on straight, and yet I can’t
Help notice that his head is at a slant.
When Cheney’s questioned on the Sunday shows,
The Voice of Reason is his favorite pose.
He drones in monotones. He never smiles---
Explaining why some suspects don’t need trials,
Or why right now it simply stands to reason
That criticizing Bush amounts to treason,
Or which important precept it would spoil
To know who wrote our policy on oil,
Or why as CEO he wouldn’t know
What Halliburton’s books were meant to show.
And as he speaks I’ve kept a careful check
On when his head’s held crooked on his neck.
The code is broken, after years of trying:
He only cocks his head when he is lying.
At the ceremony, which will not only include induction of new members but also the awarding of many awards, "Academician Wallace Shawn will deliver the Blashfield Foundation Address, titled The Unobtrusives." And I do believe we're talking about that Wallace Shawn.
Edit: Looking over a list of members, living and dead, I spy at least one of those who has recently given up his seat at the table: Kurt Vonnegut. It feels sort of right for Trillin to have taken his place.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Update on Marine Son
I haven't said much about Marine Son, because I don't know much, and some of what I know I must keep to myself. However, I can say this: he's actually based in Kuwait (unless that has changed), flying in and out of Iraq. (He's a back-of-the-helicopter guy, not the pilot.) I am led to understand that he has a roof rather than a tent over his head when he's on base and access to shopping for the basics, like razors and snacks. I have most of my info from his wife, Indian Princess.
Soon (I forget when she said), he will be allowed to teleconference with Indian Princess for ten minutes.
He's working 16-hour days, with one day off a month. Apparently, even though he's only supposed to be there for 6 months, they plan to get a year's worth of work out of him.
No more complaining from me about my workload.
Soon (I forget when she said), he will be allowed to teleconference with Indian Princess for ten minutes.
He's working 16-hour days, with one day off a month. Apparently, even though he's only supposed to be there for 6 months, they plan to get a year's worth of work out of him.
No more complaining from me about my workload.
My side yard
I just had an itch to take a photo today. Everything is so green and I'd like to be out in it...but I have grading. My side yard is the largest part of the yard -- the other parts of the yard are more "normal" sized for a subdivision. This yard is a luxury -- except at mowing time.
I'm thinking about a bench somewhere among those trees, but most commercial benches have too much metal in them for my tastes. This is Florida, people! And metal conducts heat to our tender skin. By the end of the summer, if the economy doesn't completely freefall, I may put a shed in the far corner. It's hard to see where the fences are, but the beige shed on the left of the photo is my neighbors', and mine would nestle up near it, like a little trailer park -- I hope a classy one. I've lived in this house for 32 years with no shed or basement, and with a small attic with no easy access, so it too is useless for storage. Tall Son has left a lot of things behind and keeps bringing more for me to store. In the storage room, in addition to the usual kinds of things that one accumulates, I have a sink and kitchen cabinets to be sanded and primed and sanded and painted and installed ... someday. No wonder my house is bursting with Stuff.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Juxtaposition
From the online records of my bank account:
Monthly car insurance premium -- $49.09
My last fill-up -- $48.60
Monthly car insurance premium -- $49.09
My last fill-up -- $48.60
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