Dishin' on the Grammys

I don't know when the last time was that I watched the Grammy Awards. I 'aged out' of the demographic that record companies target a long time ago (ironic, in that I actually BUY the music I listen to), so I generally don't have any idea who any of the honorees are. But I got suckered into the Police reunion buzz, even though, frankly, it was Sting and two guys doing Roxanne. I mean, if my eyes had been closed, I wouldn't have known the difference between Sting with the Police and Sting with other guys.

So the Police were first and that's when I should have turned off the TV, since I had other things to do with that three and a half hours.

But I was pleasantly surprised.

It wasn't really an awards show; it was a music show with the very occasional award. Most awards were given pre-show. And most awards given during the show were some sort of lifetime achievement thing (frequently awarded to dead people), although they didn't call them that. So, some awards of my own:

Scariest (and saddest) Plastic Surgery: Smokey Robinson, who won't be needing a costume on Halloween...



Most (usually) wasted voice: Christina Aguilera. Why does she squander that phenomenal voice on the garbage she usually performs when she's capable of singing like she did last night? (This is not a new thought for me; I think this every time I hear Christina belt out an actual SONG.)

"Snap!" award: Dixie Chicks, those lib'ral traitors, win five awards. Dixie Chicks win for Country Album, then the camera slides over to Reba McIntyre (who has been a vocal shut-up-and-sing critic) for a reaction; she looks like she's sucking on a lemon. Then Reba has to do the next announcement. Sorry, Reba. Apparently not everyone wants the Chicks to shut up.


Moxie award: Robin Troup. Who? The "My Grammy Moment" winner. Grammy ran its own little American Idol; three unknowns -- who all looked about 17 -- vied for a performance with Justin Timberlake, as determined by America's vote. How one might decide between the three was unclear, since they looked and sounded alike (maybe more info -- longer performance samples -- was available on the Grammy site?). Troup prevailed, and in her performance (all three young women had practiced with Timberlake) held her own. But of course all I could think was: Timberlake, don't touch that girl's clothes.

Why I'm Glad I Watched Award: Gnarls Barkley. Had heard the name, had heard snippets of the song "Crazy." But live? Crazy.