Saturday, July 22, 2006

What Makes God Laugh?: Homeowner Edition, part two

God wasn’t finished laughing today, not at me and not at Tall Son. I’m sure Tall Son had plans for next weekend. But he has new ones now.

It’s hard to get him to do maintenance (and finish projects) on my house, but he always comes through when it’s urgent, such as the time my water heater started leaking by the gallon.

So this afternoon I was sitting outside in the shade in my plastic replica Adirondack chair, waiting for Tall Son to come by and unload the new mower (see post immediately above).

While the main part of my house is concrete block with a brick front, the laundry room section, and now the newly-enclosed-once-upon-a-time-carport-now-turned-storage-room, is frame, sheathed in what is commonly known as T1-11. The back wall and the 2-foot side are original construction, 30 years old and rotten at the corner. Replacing this siding is on Tall Son’s to-do list.

This afternoon it moved up. Way up.

I was enjoying the breeze in the shade, thinking about how I might convince Tall Son to replace that siding and help me paint the house, when a two-foot snake started doing a vertical snake dance right next to that rotten corner. And I knew what was about to happen even as I willed it not to, not to, not to.

Like a piece of spaghetti slurped into a ten-year-old’s mouth, that snake zipped right into the hole in my house.

I will let you ponder that a moment.

I live in this house. And so, it seems, does at least one snake.

I am putting the best possible spin on this. First, I’m almost certain it was a black snake, which means that it’s not what I want for a roommate, but it isn’t going to kill me – or Molly. Second, like the discovery of a cheating spouse, there’s a good chance I’ve not caught the snake’s first time in my house. It’s probably been living there a while and hasn’t caused me any grief. It seemed to know exactly what it wanted to do, where it wanted to go. Third, it probably is living right there where it went in, in between the drywall and the rotted siding, although I keep thinking about whether it might be slithering all the way to the attic…

No. I simply will not go there.

I’m in emergency mode. I’ve moved the litter box out of the storage room and closed the cat door that leads to the storage room. I’ve closed the door between the laundry room and storage room. I’m playing a radio in the storage room in an effort to keep it out of the storage room and therefore the rest of the house, because I’ve heard snakes don’t like loud noises. I’m doing my laundry as fast as I can, catching it all up, and then I’m going nowhere near that room again until next weekend when Tall Son plans to pull down the siding, evict the snake family, and replace the siding.

And oh how I hope God is not reading my words and laughing.

5 comments:

Alanna said...

Dear Bitty,

Oh my God! The radio is a great idea. J said that is surely a "friendly snake." The diamond backs are the ones to avoid. He also says that the snake means you will never have rats or mice, and not to kill it! It will come out when it's hungry. Small consolation, I know. I don't know any bait for snakes, except the above mentioned.
Love,
Alanna

Meowkaat said...

GECK. I hope when you say "I will not go there" you mean the attic the snake might be crawling into. I love animals, as evidenced by my blog review today, but there's a line. It's between my house and the outdoors. No matter how many mice and rats it comes out after when it's hungry. GAK again.

The Minstrel Boy said...

snakes are a big fact of life where i live. the previous commenters are correct in citing the rodent control benefits, but i understand your not wanting them "in the house." did you know that there is a snake bite vaccine available from the vet? all my critters have them. ripping and walling sounds good. props to Tall Son. .

Vervet said...

Bitty,
I posted this over at Shakes Sis, now I see blogger is allowing comments again so will mention here too-mothballs are said to be a very effective snake repellant. There's also a product called Snakeaway.

missymusing said...

Next week ?!?! Ugg, I'd be in a hotel room. And rodents are A-ok with me, mice at least. Yetch, good luck...