Sunday, September 18, 2005

Awarding the Emmys

(I missed the beginning; I recorded it. Maybe if I ever go back and watch, I'll edit.)

Best speech: S. Epatha Merkerson, especially the constant search down her dress for her notes.

Best follow-up to a speech: Jon Stewart's search down his pants for his notes.

Second best speech: James Spader, who didn't thank a laundry list of people but instead simply had a few things to say.

Most deserved win: Anything that went to The Daily Show.

Least deserved win: Patricia Arquette (Sorry, Patricia. You're not bad; you're just not Glenn Close...or any of the other nominees.)

Least surprising win: Any award that went to
Everybody Loves Raymond, especially the award to Doris Roberts.

MIA host award: Ellen DeGeneres. Where was the Ellen DeGeneres who hosted the 2001 Emmys? (First visit to the timekeeper: funny. The rest: overkill. Best moment: not coming out to intro Hugh Jackman and Whoopi Goldberg.)

Best presentation: Hugh Jackman and Whoopi Goldberg, who went off script AND kept it short.

Hairstyle that most belonged on a set and not at an awards show: Patricia Arquette.

Best non-skeletal body: Patricia Arquette (who knew they let size 10/12 women act?) (Before I get comments, this award's not sarcasm; I mean it.)

Campiest moment: William Shatner and the opera singer doing the Star Trek theme. C'mon, you know you've done before exactly what that lady was doing.

Edit: Forgot
Most Disorganized Montage On an Awards Show Ever: The Brokaw/Rather/Jennings montage.
Most Dragged-Out Segment: Brokaw and Rather's comments, which took at least twice as long as necessary. I thought being concise was one of the top rules of journalism?


Waveflux said...

Props to Arquette for actually being built like a regular woman, more or less. She was kinda spilling out of that dress, though.

Best upper arm muscles: Sela Ward, strangely enough. That girl works out.

Best non-award: Patricia Heaton, who has annoyed me lately with her latest tirade against breast enhancement. Not that I'm a big fan of the procedure; there are just other, more worthy things to passionately oppose.

A lot of physicality in this post. Eeep. I'll end it here.

Bitty said...

Arquette: Yeah, it sounded like I was picking on Arquette, which wasn't really intentional. She WAS spilling out of that dress, and beige might not be the best choice for a blonde, and she was embarrassingly coiffed, which means I probably should add/edit:

Worst stylist: whoever advised Patricia Arquette.

Despite my recent post about not getting attached to new shows, I have seen Arquette's. She's NOT bad. Best part about it is the charismatic/real-seeming husband and wife relationship. But I keep hearing about the extraordinary jobs done by Frances Conroy (don't have HBO) and Glenn Close (don't know when The Shield is on. Saw it once; depressed me -- it was quality; seemed true. That's why it depressed.). Good shouldn't be rewarded over extraordinary.

Oh yeah. I forgot. Extraordinary is no longer valued in America.

Ward: Not fair that she improves with age!

Heaton: I wasn't aware of Heaton's tirade, but I was aware she'd had some work done herself. Hmm.